Thursday, May 14, 2015

Revelation

It has occurred to me that there is no inherent change at 30. While this may not be a news flash to my beloved readers, it was a rude awakening to me. Here I am, ten days into my 30th year and I feel no difference...Well maybe more fatigue and a keener sense of disappointment. I was promised a better sense of self; that once I crossed thirty I would know the woman I am and be more confident in my skin and have more fun in life. 

Since, I have turned 30 I have not once done my make up or styled my hair. I have not coordinated pieces to reflect to the world the "woman I am" through my wardrobe...and I most definitely have not had more fun! I stand in a sheepish awe, somehow I thought I turn 30 and thunder and lighting would crash down, then the clouds would part and my life would be different. My finances would be fixed, my confidence and esteem would peak, I would be the most put together that I'd ever been in my life! Instead I am just unusually tired, not motivated to spend time beautifying myself and in the throws of anticipation as I wait while my Higher Power guides my path and my businesses grow.

What I realize though is there are some major differences between my 20s and what stage has been set for my 30s. I have put drinking behind me. My days of partying and using alcohol to satiate my taste for fun (and for many other reasons...to be honest) are squarely set in my 20s. Also, I am done with excuses, I am accountable for my actions. I will no longer blame what has been done to me or my conditions etc. I am learning to love, forgive and show compassion to myself. I truly believe that I can achieve my dreams and accomplish my goals! Finally, my circle of friends that we're a strong part of my last decade have had no presence in my 30s.
My revelation is that turning 30 wasn't the instant fix I'd hoped for. But, it set the stage for me to transform into the woman I truly am. My priorities have changed and my vision has opened. I am in forward motion.
The only other thing I can say is I do need to build a circle. Making friends is hard but it does make you feel young again. Does she like me? Do I like her? Is she cool? am I cool? Do I wanna be cool? I'm weird and I have trust issues...I have the unrealistic expectation at this age of wanting to be fast friends and sometimes that doesn't sit well with people. With all my childhood relationships severed its hard to go it alone. Yet,  it's better that I stand alone than build my foundation on others (when I did this I took a hard fall). I miss having girlfriends but someday I will again...

Stay Fluid,


LQD



Saturday, May 2, 2015

Update!!!! Bantu Knot Results and Style Idea!

As promised here is the Bantu Results! They came out more like a wave than a curl but I still love the results! Next time I will do smaller sections for the knots and do them on freshly washed hair.

Ruby Kisses Matte Lipstick in Extreme Coral!



I also came up with this style below. My curls fell because I did not wrap my hair at night (I hardly ever do...bad Angela) so this gave me a cute style to wear the next day while putting some wave back in my hair! I simply parted the section at the crown, wet each section and made five knots. I did pin them in place this time.


Eyes: Elf cosmetics Beauty Book
But that highlight though! 
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Stay Fluid,

LQD