MLK Day with Poverty in Action

On Martin Luther King Junior Day, I ventured down to the state capital to attend a Poverty in Action lobbying event. My boss and I were both supposed to be in attendance. However, she became sick last minute and I had to go it alone. I was nervous as I am not use to attending events by myself. The experience was amazing though! I met a wonderful people, advocated for my legislative concerns, and listened to some compelling speakers. It is amazing to me how little I know about how our political system works and this had definitely solidified my thirst to learn more.

The event was from 9 am to 3:30 pm at a church within walking distance to Washington State's Capital in Olympia, WA. The event was full with people standing and fitting anywhere they could find room. We heard moving stories about living in poverty in WA, the hardship of a non-citizen, Poverty-in Actions legislative priorities, and even heard from a young boy around 9 which for him this was his 6th lobbying event!

We broke off into Districts and with all those people present guess how many were in the District 27 group....two. This is when I met Kristi and as we began to plan what we were going to say to our law makers. I will tell you about the amazing woman named Kristi at a later date. Her story is amazing! The next day I even attended a Senate bill hearing where she spoke for the bill on a panel. The Department of Correction made a presentation of their budget and challenges that they face, as well as, proposed solutions. I got to hear it all! I didn't even know I could do that!

We met with Jake Fey "Mista Fey" according to the name tent on his desk. He listened to our positions on TANF (temporary assistance for needy families ) and on removing certain limitations for people serving time to enter a parenting program.

We also met with Ann Dasch Legislative Assistant to Laurie Jinkins as she was busy. Ann was wonderful and seem to really be listening to what our positions were. I do hope to meet Laurie as she is a Tacoma, WA and Wonder Woman fan.

Laurie's Window Sill 

All in all, I have caught a bug. I am going to learn more about how our political system works, my rights and how to use my voice to impart change and I am going to pass it on! I was able to network with lobbying groups like Civil Action and really let my voice be heard. I encourage all my readers to educate themselves about events like these and let their voice be heard also. Poverty in Action is a great place to get involved if you reside in WA and I am sure there are groups like this in every state. Get Active and thanks for listening!

Stay Fluid,

LQD


*Poverty in Action is "Washington state’s largest anti-poverty organization, committed to building grassroots power to end causes of poverty and create opportunities for everyone to prosper." www.povertyaction.org

Kristi, Jake Fey, and ME

The Event

Shameless Selfie of me at the Event!

Lipstick: Cailyn Extreme Matte Tint  #16

The Capital: Olympia, WA

Peace Be

Still,

On the car ride to the office this morning I was blessed with a message. My son is God's child. He is here for me to love, hold and care for but ultimately he is God's child. I found myself worrying about his Christmas. My selfish and irreparable actions as of late left me wondering if my son would be punished. However, my car companion pointed out that God knew what I was going to do before I did it, he knows my imperfections. I can make my plans but God plans reach further and are more expansive than I could ever comprehend. I can never pretend to understand the mind of God. This by no means lets me off the hook but opens my mind up to focus on recovery and growth. I took solace in the fact that my son's Christmas can still be if I stopped beating myself up and give it to God. Immediately (well almost), I found peace. The worries of  'sins of the mother' stopped ringing in my head. Though, I did have to re-center and remind myself that God will provide and to let him have it completely.

I struggle with the fact that some divine retribution is headed my way for my actions. So I continue to pray that I will find serenity in the storm if it is headed my way.

Stay Fluid,

LQD

New Direction

Dear Readers,

In an effort to help me stay consistent with blogging, follow my counseling directives, stay humble and help others, I've decided to change this forum to a journal format. This by no means is easy and will surely be unflattering but I believe all in all it will be therapeutic and more beneficial than detrimental. So, let's begin...

Today, I am 11 days sober. I decided after a near 12 year alcoholic binge that it was time to stop. I stopped drinking 12/1/2017 with the support of a dear friend. Alcohol among other things was really messing up my life. After nine days of sobriety and near perfect joy, I decided to let my other addiction get the best of me...Gambling...mind you I have an awesome 8 year old son and well it's this close to Christmas...I felt the need to not just attend A.A meetings about seven days into my sobriety,,,the itch to gamble was growing with each short-term disability check. Yet, I ignored it with some twisted hope that alcohol was the root of my problem and that I could gamble responsibility if I were not drinking. Well, that myth has been debunked. It is oh so true that once you cross that invisible line to compulsive gambling there is no turning back. After, I lost all my money I even considered taking an old man up on his offer for paid sex. Luckily, for me I was too sober to do so.

I blamed it on loneliness but I'm not sure that's it. I have a knack for self sabotage which since my goal is to journal nightly I will get into later. My counselor is determined to find out what it is that I am burying that gives me the capacity for these atrocities but I digress. I am lonely. I mean, I've been in two very sorted relationships this year in which I felt used. I tend to find people who need me because of my insecurities and then get fed up with them, well, needing me. I've had my share of trysts since then but I've since put relationships on hold and am very scared of dating now...I mean where do you go on a date sober? I am so outgoing, interesting and sexy in my mind when I am under the influence but sober? I am reminded of my high school days where I was literally called 'Jesus" I was so good..I had hair of lambs wool they jested because I rocked natural hair before it was in and there were tutorials on how to make it look nice. I just liked the way my hair grew out of my head. I find myself timid, shy and awkward sober. I really battle with confidence and have since I can remember.
I know I am all over the place right now. I have to say after losing my ass at the casino, I am solid in the fact that I can not gamble...sober or not. I would normally have resigned myself to my couch for a week and beat myself up until I could finally peek at myself in a mirror but I remembered a share from an A.A meeting (a bit too late), he said if it is my idea it was probably a bad one. That fact combined that I spent all day Sunday wallowing in my stupidity and sleeping to the point that when my son left for school today he commented that I would probably be in the same spot because I didn't feel good and I would probably sleep all day, got me to move.  I did exactly what I didn't want to do today. I got dressed, put a little makeup on, went to counseling and went into the office where I am helping out currently and guess what? I was blessed. I can't get that money back but I can move forward. Hopefully, this will stick with me and since I am sober, I can remember and actually fast forward the tape next time I've got the bright idea that the casino will solve my problems. I really appreciate you listening.

Stay Fluid,

LQD

Me ignoring all the signs that I shouldn't go to the casino...

I'm so happy before I lost my $$$

Missing you too!

Bad Angela! I have been away too long!!!! I have a ton of stuff going on with the building my businesses! My online store is going well. Check me out on Ebay: stores.ebay.com/LIQUIDBLACK-STYLES . I am on a few other platforms like Bonanza, Etsy and Amazon! Additionally, I gained a new Loc client! I am stoked about that! I have just been plugging away trying to build the empire that I was always meant to have. The only thing that has been consistent and non-chaotic has been my hair.

I love these Loc knots. I will do them pretty much every time I re-twist my hair now. They have stayed for going on two weeks now and they still look gorgeous but alas, *sigh* I must wash my hair so they will be gone this weekend. I found the tutorial online via Chescalocs and You tube :Chescalocs Loc Knots . It will change your life! This method works on all hair types. My co-worker tried it on her hair and she has loose natural hair and it worked great. I love the 2-n-1 style (not to mention when the curls are setting it gets all the hair off my back and some of neck which can be HIGHLY irritating in the summer months) and I love the awesome staying power of these curls. I didn't use any product besides what I was using to twist the top. At night I pile my hair on top of my head and knock out. (No...I don't usually tie my hair up with a scarf or anyhting...I know Bad Angela!)

 The style when its setting

 2nd day Curls

 Curly Bun

1 week Curls in!!!

To switch gears I would like to thank FREE THINK HER for featuring my post on their Dope site! You can find my reflection here. Its the same one that is on my blog but you really should check the site out.

Guys!!!!!!  I would REALLY appreciate, comments, questions, suggestions so I know what you guys are thinking and what you want me to talk about! I want to make sure that I am doing content that you are interested in. This Blog has a lot of topics: Life, Lifestyle, Beauty, Fashion, Business, Locs, Addiction but I can only cater to you as a reader if you tell me what you like! Thank you for sticking in there with me! You're Awesome!


Stay Fluid,

LQD

Revelation

It has occurred to me that there is no inherent change at 30. While this may not be a news flash to my beloved readers, it was a rude awakening to me. Here I am, ten days into my 30th year and I feel no difference...Well maybe more fatigue and a keener sense of disappointment. I was promised a better sense of self; that once I crossed thirty I would know the woman I am and be more confident in my skin and have more fun in life. 

Since, I have turned 30 I have not once done my make up or styled my hair. I have not coordinated pieces to reflect to the world the "woman I am" through my wardrobe...and I most definitely have not had more fun! I stand in a sheepish awe, somehow I thought I turn 30 and thunder and lighting would crash down, then the clouds would part and my life would be different. My finances would be fixed, my confidence and esteem would peak, I would be the most put together that I'd ever been in my life! Instead I am just unusually tired, not motivated to spend time beautifying myself and in the throws of anticipation as I wait while my Higher Power guides my path and my businesses grow.

What I realize though is there are some major differences between my 20s and what stage has been set for my 30s. I have put drinking behind me. My days of partying and using alcohol to satiate my taste for fun (and for many other reasons...to be honest) are squarely set in my 20s. Also, I am done with excuses, I am accountable for my actions. I will no longer blame what has been done to me or my conditions etc. I am learning to love, forgive and show compassion to myself. I truly believe that I can achieve my dreams and accomplish my goals! Finally, my circle of friends that we're a strong part of my last decade have had no presence in my 30s.

My revelation is that turning 30 wasn't the instant fix I'd hoped for. But, it set the stage for me to transform into the woman I truly am. My priorities have changed and my vision has opened. I am in forward motion.
The only other thing I can say is I do need to build a circle. Making friends is hard but it does make you feel young again. Does she like me? Do I like her? Is she cool? am I cool? Do I wanna be cool? I'm weird and I have trust issues...I have the unrealistic expectation at this age of wanting to be fast friends and sometimes that doesn't sit well with people. With all my childhood relationships severed its hard to go it alone. Yet,  it's better that I stand alone than build my foundation on others (when I did this I took a hard fall). I miss having girlfriends but someday I will again...

Stay Fluid,

LQD

Mrs. Doubtfire

I have some lofty monetary gains goals for this year and as it approaches the half way mark of the year (yes only about 45 more days away), I cringe. Yet, this time I am not going to let Mrs.Doubtfire emerge. I am going to continue to believe and not count out the fact that I a might be a late 'green' bloomer. Usually my depressive, doubtful, self-sabotaging diva Debbie Downer Doubtfire emerges. But no more! I know that I can accomplish my financial goals for this year.
Most of you have heard of the documentary "The Secret'...If you haven't, go watch it...now...it's on NetFlix...I'll wait....I need to focus on the law of attraction and most importantly staying positive. After, I finally gave in to Oprah's and a good friend's recommendation to watch this documentary just a about a month ago, I was completely and utterly shocked. It wasn't nearly as corny as I thought it was going to be. I found a lot of truth in it actually. The more I focused on my goals each day, the more ideas flowed within me to reach them. I started to get on track and I had so many things on my mind I couldn't sleep.
Unfortunately, sleep is necessary for my mental health, so this last couple of weeks I have been a bit off on the whole goal accomplishing thing. I could choose to stay off track (as I normally would) but 2015 is my year and I refuse!!! I sit her on a Saturday, posting on my blog. A blog that I have been trying to post to consistently on for years! Now, I am making strides at doing so. I also running a few of my own businesses and have almost completed my business plan for my non profit. Success is eminent with hard work and positivity.
I am not going to lie...this is where I usually hit my wall. I start doubting that I can accomplish my goals, that I can go above and beyond...I mean what makes me so special? Do I even deserve it? Yet, you know what?!?!? If I don't, my son does and my family members who have always been there for me do!Forgive me, I am working in counseling on self-love but until I actualize that, the love of money is enough to drive me to my success...

Stay Fluid,

LQD

P.S I now am offering a E-newsletter that will help you Stay Fluid: Including but not limited to Money Saving and Growing Tips, Style, Health, Beauty and Resources!!!!

Sweeping away 20 something

Though I probably shouldn't put this in print...I am turning 30 soon. The feeling of impending doom is encroaching and the struggle my friend...is real. I am battling constantly over what the hell have I been doing for the past 30 years. Especially with a close scrutiny on my disastrous 20's. The two proudest accomplishments that hail from that decade are my son and my degree...Unfortunately, that list should be longer for 10  years.

I don't know what it is that bother's me with turning 30. I have always struggled with self esteem but I don't necessarily equate 30 with loss of beauty or being old. I have seen beautiful women of all ages. My body and skin are changing and well maybe the fear stems from the unknown. Most likely its the lack of material things, accomplishments, and guilt of being so far behind in life that I struggle with. The knowledge that I could have done so much more in my 20's is likely what burdens me. However, this reflection only makes me more determined to get it right this decade.

On the bright side, I have really learned a lot of lessons. I have come to know myself and what I want to become. In many ways, I am just getting started. I can now set realistically high goals and achieve them. My struggles and personality faults are definitely obvious to me and that gives me the knowledge to grow. Essentially, I know who I am and who I am going to be. I know this year especially is going to be a turning point for me! My  success is slated for 2015. I am almost excited to turn 30...but I do mean ALMOST.

One of the things that I am doing to highlight my change in age is readdressing my all to massive wardrobe! This is a positive thing (as I am keeping a positive outlook on all things this year)! I am going through my wardrobe piece by piece to see if I can make an outfit that says "me now" with it! If I can't then that item is up for donation or sale. Obviously, I am going to be using my creative juices in order to not have to part with my beloveds; but everything won't make the cut. I was proud of what I put together today! I've had this brocade jacket forever and hadn't worn it but I get to keep it because of what I came up with for an outfit...I hope you enjoy. I encourage you to comment and ask questions!


Stay Fluid,

LQD

I look like Speedy Gonzales!!! 

Lips:

J.CAT Beauty Wonder paint in Much Mucher (Love!)

Addictive Tastes

It is been way too long since I have been with you guys and I have a secret to reveal! I have an addictive personality...I want to reveal my addictions to you, my successes, failures, hopes and fears. I've always wanted to help people but honestly this is more for me than it is for you. I hid in shame of what I am, what I have done, might do and might become but no more. My hope is that I will shine a light for someone. I pray that by me writing these truths that someone out there will not feel alone, discouraged or hopeless. That maybe by putting fingers to keys I will save someone from going through what I have gone through. My goal is to be candid about my experiences and my addictions. I do not wish for this post to be a autobiography but just want to let my readers no that this is not just about style or beauty but about life... The clothes I wear and the face that I paint may express what I want to portray to the world but are those depictions accurate or am I just playing dress up?

So anyways...

Lets start light....

The first addiction I will share is make-up but more specifically lipstick. I am completely and ridiculously addicted to lipstick. I don't know when it started actually but I can tell you this its not going anywhere. When I first started wearing lipstick regularly I gravitated toward maroons, fuchsias and of course vampy...namely...Cyber from MAC (the latter by the way is one of three lipsticks I've actually used up and replaced). Three gallons of gas or two and a lipstick from a limited edition launch from Rite Aid? Well, that's just a silly question! Over the course of last year I spent over $1000 dollars at Rite Aid alone and I'd venture to say a good 80% of those purchases were beauty related....that's a fifth of my wages for last year. I don't know what it is but I just had to have my pretties. Doesn't matter finish, color I just had to get my Pokeball out.  I buy in to trend after trend and still trying to be different at the same time which just leads to collecting entire launches of colletions. My addiction only worsened when I discovered red lipstick. First, it was about finding the perfect red for dark skin, then it was about the different undertones of the red lipstick...The nail on the proverbial coffin? Why doesn't Maybeline Red Revival or Revlon Gothic lipstain look bright, beautiful and true red on me as it does on my fair skinned women? What would give me that classic red lip? I tried countless lipsticks different brands and they always turned orange red. For years I would not wear orange-red lipstick because I was so annoyed by the fact that Lady Danger looked so beautifully delicious on my Caucasian counterparts and turned into a orange Fanta on my lips.
My first red love was by Givenchy Illicit Rasberry $36 dollars or about and WAY out of my budget but Zoe Saladana wore it to some ritzy gala somewhere as reported by one of my beauty magazines (an addiction I just recently overcame) and it looked beautifully red on her complexion. It was perfection (for the time) and I loved it. After which I continued to search for truer brighter reds. I wanted nothing to do with the orange reds or brown reds that were forced down brown skinned women's throats. Sometimes I think I am always trying to stand out to be different. I want to prove that I can wear any color lipstick that my skin tone does not limit my options. There it is, the deeper implication... a glance at one of my unfortunately may issues. Needless to say my I have several shades that are the same color even if they are from different brands. Last time I counted I had over 20 red shades alone. I haven't worn close to three quarters of my lipsticks but still I buy more...BTW YOUTUBE your not helping! My YOUTUBE gurus are fellow junkies who lead the way to my best high possible. All in All, it is not a necessarily bad thing to by lipstick. Yet, truthfully my addiction is clear. Imagine if I added up all the money I spent on the lip products I have and put that into a College fund for my five year old son (which he does not have) or a retirement plan for myself (which I do not have)...Oh well, at least I have killer red lips....

Stay Fluid,

LQD

Christmas Red Ruby Kisses Matte Lipstick in Kiss Red $3 (beauty supply stores)

Scandalous lipstick from NYX Cosmetics Wicked Lippie Collection. $6

Ruby Kisses Matte Lipstick in Plum Wine $3

OCC Lip Tar (my fave blue) $18

I easily have 150+ lipsticks and glosses. I stopped counting because it got depressing...