Monday, December 11, 2017

New Direction

Dear Readers,

In an effort to help me stay consistent with blogging, follow my counseling directives, stay humble and help others, I've decided to change this forum to a journal format. This by no means is easy and will surely be unflattering but I believe all in all it will be therapeutic and more beneficial than detrimental. So, let's begin...

Today, I am 11 days sober. I decided after a near 12 year alcoholic binge that it was time to stop. I stopped drinking 12/1/2017 with the support of a dear friend. Alcohol among other things was really messing up my life. After nine days of sobriety and near perfect joy, I decided to let my other addiction get the best of me...Gambling...mind you I have an awesome 8 year old son and well it's this close to Christmas...I felt the need to not just attend A.A meetings about seven days into my sobriety,,,the itch to gamble was growing with each short-term disability check. Yet, I ignored it with some twisted hope that alcohol was the root of my problem and that I could gamble responsibility if I were not drinking. Well, that myth has been debunked. It is oh so true that once you cross that invisible line to compulsive gambling there is no turning back. After, I lost all my money I even considered taking an old man up on his offer for paid sex. Luckily, for me I was too sober to do so.

I blamed it on loneliness but I'm not sure that's it. I have a knack for self sabotage which since my goal is to journal nightly I will get into later. My counselor is determined to find out what it is that I am burying that gives me the capacity for these atrocities but I digress. I am lonely. I mean, I've been in two very sorted relationships this year in which I felt used. I tend to find people who need me because of my insecurities and then get fed up with them, well, needing me. I've had my share of trysts since then but I've since put relationships on hold and am very scared of dating now...I mean where do you go on a date sober? I am so outgoing, interesting and sexy in my mind when I am under the influence but sober? I am reminded of my high school days where I was literally called 'Jesus" I was so good..I had hair of lambs wool they jested because I rocked natural hair before it was in and there were tutorials on how to make it look nice. I just liked the way my hair grew out of my head. I find myself timid, shy and awkward sober. I really battle with confidence and have since I can remember.
I know I am all over the place right now. I have to say after losing my ass at the casino, I am solid in the fact that I can not gamble...sober or not. I would normally have resigned myself to my couch for a week and beat myself up until I could finally peek at myself in a mirror but I remembered a share from an A.A meeting (a bit too late), he said if it is my idea it was probably a bad one. That fact combined that I spent all day Sunday wallowing in my stupidity and sleeping to the point that when my son left for school today he commented that I would probably be in the same spot because I didn't feel good and I would probably sleep all day, got me to move.  I did exactly what I didn't want to do today. I got dressed, put a little makeup on, went to counseling and went into the office where I am helping out currently and guess what? I was blessed. I can't get that money back but I can move forward. Hopefully, this will stick with me and since I am sober, I can remember and actually fast forward the tape next time I've got the bright idea that the casino will solve my problems. I really appreciate you listening.

Stay Fluid,

LQD



Me ignoring all the signs that I shouldn't go to the casino...
I'm so happy before I lost my $$$

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Jem-stone

I got Kiss, I got Jem...but its just me. I like to be different...conventional is so overrated. My sister and I adventured out to Portland, Oregon for #Briqhouse Burlesque performance at a venue called Crush. It was a definite treat! We painted the town black after and between midnight and 3 a.m. I had already hit my 10,000 steps for the day. I was in sooo much pain! I had leg day the morning before I went out. I just started lifting again so I had a point to prove to myself...which apparently I found out after a night of entertainment and dancing, was less 'I am a beast' and more 'sh*t I'm getting old'... The event Burlesque show was beautiful. None of the womens' bodies were what media portrays as perfection but the way they moved celebrated a deep self love. I was inspired. While performing may not necessarily be something that I want to add to my long list of life experiences, I do want to have that level of confidence. Yes, I want to achieve a self love and confidence that is so immense I would be happy to perform practically naked on the stage of life. Give a whole new meaning to #LocStar :)  Thank you for your inspiration ladies!
Jem would have stayed in theaters full term if I'd a stared in it...js

lips: NYX Cosmetics Soft Matte Lip Cream in Monte Carlo

Kara #5 lashes (my new faves and there only $1) #ShopMissA

 Yes my secret is suppose to be out lmao

My fly sister and me! 


#30 is definitely a different ball game. I have come in to myself so much more. I am striving for improvement always but I am so much more satiated with 'me'! What I need to work on continuously is my confidence and not caring what other people might say or think. 18 years of habit is hard to break and I have only been consistently working on changing my thinking for a few years. Ne*who, please remember if you go out dancing after leg day please have a seat ...1000 of them....then look over because I'm sitting right next to you...
Downtown Portland: This guy had major swag though lmao just posted up on the tree 





My Sister and Me!!!





STAY FLUID,

LQD

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Liquid Lips 4 Liquid Black

Ok, granted everyone and their granny has reviewed the liquid matte lippies out there...but it is my turn! There are so many brands out there that have liquid lipsticks it is absolutely ridiculous. However, it is my goal to try all that I can get my hands on. For those of you that know me...lipsticks are my life! I am obsessed with anything lip color! And as I confessed in a previous blog... I have somewhere upwards of 100 lipsticks, glosses, liquid lipsticks, lip crayons etc. I'm not bragging...it's sad really but there's worse addictions...right?

Ever since the Matte lipstick craze started, I have been a total convert. I have BIG lips. It was easy to convert from my old days of hair sticking to my gloss, transferring on to my coffee mugs, reapplying every two hours to practically worry-free color with true staying power and impact. Then, I was introduced to liquid lipsticks in and my world stopped! I was reborn! Kiss-proof, Eat-proof, Life-proof ! Great looking color that lasts through the day. Sold!

Now, I'd be lying if I said I didn't run into this concept before. A little over four years ago, my  boyfriend loved the look of my lips with lipstick but hated that it rubbed off on him when we were smooching. I rotated between lipstains (my fave still to this day is Revlon Just Bitten lipstain: Gothic, Midnight Mauve, Crave and Twilight) and the Maybeline 24 hour Color Stay in Downtown Brown. The latter was a two step system that literally stayed all day but the range of colors and finishes weren't excellent for my skin tone.

Now, we have so many options for matte stay all day lippies that it is hard for even me to keep track! The only downside for me is that they tend to be drying but its worth the trade. I have yet to come across a hydrating liquid lipstick but then again, I do need a roof over my head... I have one higher end liquid lipstick my Cailyn #16. I get asked about what I am wearing all the time! It is super comfortable with no transfer and I wear it with a Cyber liner from MAC which I apply first. I got it in my #weareonyx subscription box that #Jackieaina hipped me to last summer. I have never regretted purchasing it and reach for it often.

Cailyn #16 


I've been poppin' bottles lately...ok maybe just tubes of +ℂoℓouℝPop Ultra Mattes liquid lipsticks. I am super impressed by their formula and coverage. They are comfortable, long lasting, transfer-proof and the colors OHHH! I need them all! I have LAX, KAPOW, Dr. M, Mr. Jellies and Creeper. But I need more! Must have more!!!!! I have about 6 more I am trying to get my hands on right now!

Colourpop Ultra Matte in LAX

Colourpop Ultra Matte in Kapow

Just when I thought bargin liquid lippies didnt get any better I tried @nyxcosmetics soft lip cremes. WHY? WHY? #WHY? WHY? Did they do this to me! It felt like I had nothing on my lips! And the color? Amazing! They didn't last as long on my lips as it is not completely transfer proof but also didn't dry my lips out. I love that trade! Reapplying twice in a 8 hour work day to maintain amazing lips....Sold. My only critique is the shade range lacks daring colors, but still my fave at of the liquid lipsticks I have.

NYX Soft Lip Cremes in Transylvania and Copenhagen

The L.A girl Flat Matte gloss has excellent color! I bought Black Currant and was in love from first stoke with the color. My only down side to this is that it never seemed to dry all the way. I would blot my lips together and still feel a tackiness. I want to try putting powder on my lips first before I throw this one completely under the bus because the color was incredible!


LA Girl Flat Matte Lipstick in Black Current 

Okay I think that is enough reviews for this post!  I am still anxious to try Anastasia and Stila Liquid lipsticks and have a few more in my collection that I didn't include so there will be more liquid action coming your way soon!

Stay Fluid,

LQD


Tuesday, November 10, 2015

BRAZILIAN AMBITIONS

Well folks! I am back and before you stone me for my absence, I would like to tell you that...see what had happened was... Okay, so I don't have a good excuse... I just need to get better. I need to believe in myself and hope someone somewhere is reading this blog and enjoying it as much as I enjoy writing it! But most of all I need to stay consistent with my entries.

Lately, I have been dreaming of tropical weather and sun. In rainy, dreary Tacoma spirits can get low quick. So even though its been fall I have been reaching for my brighter eyeshadow palettes. I'm not necessarily wearing the electric greens or bright oranges but just looking at the fun colors reminds me of warmth, fun and sun. Specifically, I have been rotating in my BH Cosmetics Take me to Brazil Palette. It is so versatile and fun to come up with different looks. I bought this palette awhile back after I watched Tymetheinfamous rave of its quality and great price (Barbie on a budget). The shadows are pigmented and don't have much fall out. The only thing I don't care for is the shadows can come out of the palette sometimes. I would suggest investing in a glue gun because if your make-up collection is anything like mine, that  single shadow just became a cast member on LOST.


BH Cosmetics 30 Color Eyeshadow Palette
Take me to Brazil
The packaging is so festive! Brightens my day!

As you can see I am one man down :(

I have done two different looks with the BH Cosmetics palette lately. One very fall inspired make up look that used a shimmery copper shade from the palette (bottom row of round shadows, first on the left) and plum shades from an elf palette.





 The second look was me feeling funky and wanting to switch up my normal red lip work routine! I used purple and blue shadows to do a smokey eye. The best part was win I put the iridescent white shadow/highlighter (rectangle shaped one bottom left) on the inner corner of my eye the shadows turned into a iridescent green. If you follow me at all you know I am a statement lip kind of girl! Yet, I was really feeling this look and wore a nude lip!





It's good to be back! 

Stay Fluid,

LQD 

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Missing you too!

Bad Angela! I have been away too long!!!! I have a ton of stuff going on with the building my businesses! My online store is going well. Check me out on Ebay: stores.ebay.com/LIQUIDBLACK-STYLES . I am on a few other platforms like Bonanza, Etsy and Amazon! Additionally, I gained a new Loc client! I am stoked about that! I have just been plugging away trying to build the empire that I was always meant to have. The only thing that has been consistent and non-chaotic has been my hair.

I love these Loc knots. I will do them pretty much every time I re-twist my hair now. They have stayed for going on two weeks now and they still look gorgeous but alas, *sigh* I must wash my hair so they will be gone this weekend. I found the tutorial online via Chescalocs and You tube :Chescalocs Loc Knots . It will change your life! This method works on all hair types. My co-worker tried it on her hair and she has loose natural hair and it worked great. I love the 2-n-1 style (not to mention when the curls are setting it gets all the hair off my back and some of neck which can be HIGHLY irritating in the summer months) and I love the awesome staying power of these curls. I didn't use any product besides what I was using to twist the top. At night I pile my hair on top of my head and knock out. (No...I don't usually tie my hair up with a scarf or anyhting...I know Bad Angela!)

 The style when its setting

 2nd day Curls

 Curly Bun

1 week Curls in!!!

To switch gears I would like to thank FREE THINK HER for featuring my post on their Dope site! You can find my reflection here. Its the same one that is on my blog but you really should check the site out.

Guys!!!!!!  I would REALLY appreciate, comments, questions, suggestions so I know what you guys are thinking and what you want me to talk about! I want to make sure that I am doing content that you are interested in. This Blog has a lot of topics: Life, Lifestyle, Beauty, Fashion, Business, Locs, Addiction but I can only cater to you as a reader if you tell me what you like! Thank you for sticking in there with me! You're Awesome!


Stay Fluid,

LQD

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Revelation

It has occurred to me that there is no inherent change at 30. While this may not be a news flash to my beloved readers, it was a rude awakening to me. Here I am, ten days into my 30th year and I feel no difference...Well maybe more fatigue and a keener sense of disappointment. I was promised a better sense of self; that once I crossed thirty I would know the woman I am and be more confident in my skin and have more fun in life. 

Since, I have turned 30 I have not once done my make up or styled my hair. I have not coordinated pieces to reflect to the world the "woman I am" through my wardrobe...and I most definitely have not had more fun! I stand in a sheepish awe, somehow I thought I turn 30 and thunder and lighting would crash down, then the clouds would part and my life would be different. My finances would be fixed, my confidence and esteem would peak, I would be the most put together that I'd ever been in my life! Instead I am just unusually tired, not motivated to spend time beautifying myself and in the throws of anticipation as I wait while my Higher Power guides my path and my businesses grow.

What I realize though is there are some major differences between my 20s and what stage has been set for my 30s. I have put drinking behind me. My days of partying and using alcohol to satiate my taste for fun (and for many other reasons...to be honest) are squarely set in my 20s. Also, I am done with excuses, I am accountable for my actions. I will no longer blame what has been done to me or my conditions etc. I am learning to love, forgive and show compassion to myself. I truly believe that I can achieve my dreams and accomplish my goals! Finally, my circle of friends that we're a strong part of my last decade have had no presence in my 30s.
My revelation is that turning 30 wasn't the instant fix I'd hoped for. But, it set the stage for me to transform into the woman I truly am. My priorities have changed and my vision has opened. I am in forward motion.
The only other thing I can say is I do need to build a circle. Making friends is hard but it does make you feel young again. Does she like me? Do I like her? Is she cool? am I cool? Do I wanna be cool? I'm weird and I have trust issues...I have the unrealistic expectation at this age of wanting to be fast friends and sometimes that doesn't sit well with people. With all my childhood relationships severed its hard to go it alone. Yet,  it's better that I stand alone than build my foundation on others (when I did this I took a hard fall). I miss having girlfriends but someday I will again...

Stay Fluid,


LQD



Saturday, May 2, 2015

Update!!!! Bantu Knot Results and Style Idea!

As promised here is the Bantu Results! They came out more like a wave than a curl but I still love the results! Next time I will do smaller sections for the knots and do them on freshly washed hair.

Ruby Kisses Matte Lipstick in Extreme Coral!



I also came up with this style below. My curls fell because I did not wrap my hair at night (I hardly ever do...bad Angela) so this gave me a cute style to wear the next day while putting some wave back in my hair! I simply parted the section at the crown, wet each section and made five knots. I did pin them in place this time.


Eyes: Elf cosmetics Beauty Book
But that highlight though! 
Leave Comments if you want to know what it is!
The only way I know what you are interested in is if you like, comment, subscribe please


Stay Fluid,

LQD